Rant with Ryan

Thomas decision

2006-12-03T19:29:00.000Z

Going to use this blog as a space to upload some of the short stories I am working on as a hobby. Seen as though I always forget to update it with stuff this way I'll have fresh stuff to upload more often! If you like the stories I welcome feedback in the comments section!

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Thomas' decision

The way his plasterboard excuse for a wall exploded shocked Thomas. Not only was he in the uncomfortable and embarrassing position of having a pistol in his mouth, an empty noose hanging up behind him, a scattering of paracetemols lying across his desk and pathetic dribbles of blood oozing from his attempts at slashing his wrists. He’d also not cleaned his house in over a year. Everything was covered in a layer of grime giving the room a slightly green-grey hue and the smell… unflushed toilet came to mind.

Thomas house hadn’t been clean since his girlfriend left. Ironically, one of her primary reasons for packing her bags had been Thomas lack of cleanliness combined with his eagerness to provide an ever increasing amount of things to clean; clothes, dishes, surfaces, tables, chairs everything. His girlfriend finally left him, left their grotty flat and left this grotty area. She left him a voicemail explaining her reasons. He hadn’t seen her since.

Nobody had entered the flat, apart from himself, since she had left. The house had gradually decayed, running parallel with Thomas own decay. He stopped washing himself because the yellow ring around the plughole that signified where he previously urinated every morning whilst showering had grown to such a degree that it scared him.

Not showering Thomas soon became a hazard to avoid at work. He soon left, after being asked to do so by a manager (again by voicemail) and hadn’t bothered to look for another job since. Instead Thomas spent a whole day, his most productive this year, calling every single credit company in the phone book. He proceeded to take out loans enough to accommodate his lack of job so that he could continue to survive.

Thomas spent most of the money on drugs or drink or sometimes both. Now, the money had run out now and Thomas had decided to die. He was in the process of doing that right now, except he’d been disturbed, by these two foreigners, the first two people to have entered his flat in over a year. As he watched them it became apparent their entry wasn’t an accident. They were fighting and had fallen by accident into his place.

At first Thomas didn’t know what to do. He felt his cheeks redden at the embarrassing situation he had found himself in. Had they noticed yet? No. It appeared they were focused on hitting one another still. Rolling around right in front of him, sitting on his single chair in his bare front room (he’d moved most of the other furniture as he reasoned there is no need to have furniture when you are living completely alone).

It was undoubtedly only a matter of time before they realised he was there. They would see that his flat, how dirty it was, they would see the noose that was tied to the pipes running along the ceiling, they would see the knife and the pills and then they would see him with the gun in his mouth. They would know what he was going to do and would stop him. Damn them, Thomas thought.

There was only one thing for it. Thomas removed the gun from mouth and stood up. The two men was considerably larger than he was, though Thomas was not a very big man. One man had a shaven head, a hair-cut with an advantage at the moment as he was using the other man’s long greasy hair to keep him pinned to the ground whilst trying to headbutt him. Thomas didn’t know what to do so he continued to stand there.

The men continued to fight. One of them was bleeding Thomas could see from the splattering of blood on his floor. “What are you doing in my flat?” Thomas asked the men meekly. They ignored him and continued to grunt at one another, wrestling, biting and butting across his floor. Thomas felt helpless, how was he supposed to deal with this?

Thankfully a solution came running towards him. He looked through the hole in the wall and saw a woman shuffling towards him. She was pretty, and pregnant. Thomas knew who she was; she lived in the block of flats. He remembered opening the door for her once or twice. She was one of those heavy pregnant types, always breathing heavy, looking like she wasn’t going to be able to manage another step. She shuffled towards him, towards his disgusting flat, towards his suicide plans and towards these two men rolling around on the floor. Her face was bright red, she was crying or had been crying.

She stopped before the two men, screaming hysterically flailing her arms. She hadn’t officially entered Thomas house yet. Her hand was resting on the plasterboard, she was panting and crying and trying to shout all at the same time. She hadn’t looked at Thomas yet. Thomas stood there with gun in hand. Thomas knew what would happen when she noticed them.

Long hair had gained the upper hand now and was biting the shoulder of baldy. The woman finally noticed Thomas. Thomas tried to look away but couldn’t – if he looked to the left he saw the knives and the pills, if he looked to the right he could see the noose. It wouldn’t have been fitting to simply turn round completely though that is what he wanted to do. He had no choice but to stare the situation right in the face. Pregnant lady started screaming at Thomas.

“Stop them! UrghUagrh! Stop them pleeease” She screamed. Thomas didn’t want to do anything. Thomas wanted to be dead.

I forgot about my blog, crucify me!

2006-09-25T21:28:00.000+01:00

So I did the unthinkable, the thing that almost everyone does once they have set up a blog, posted a few messages then forgot about it. It wasn't on purpose, honest! I've just been really busy, let me update you with a few things going on in my world.

So first off, things at bit-tech are going well. I've been told the gaming section is doing really well in the months since I started work and life in the world of journalism is not too shabby. Some of the parties are excellent (watch out for me dancing in any upcoming TV coverage of the Cannonball Rally) and I'm now at the stage where games are flowing like wine down the flabby bottom cheeks of a Roman prostitute.

In other news my girlfriend is going to Japan to become an English teacher, although exciting for her it's sad for me as she will be gone for an entire year! I will be very sad when she is gone, expect my writing to become a lot more melancholy.

And finally, a titbit, apparently a recent study has shown that Scotland has only one sperm donor covering the entire region. I believe there is a rumour circulating that the Scottish national party is trying to blame that man for all the current miseries of the country, I can give them a tip off as I believe it is a former housemate of mine known as Kerr Nimmo.

Scotland, inbred? Surely not...

My first week in journalism

2006-08-07T18:41:00.000+01:00

Hello all, no posts this last week for one reason and one reason only, I just started my first job in journalism. Life at the bit-tech offices is fun, fun but hard. Coming from university into the industry has been a shock to the system, especially because I am living in London. Early starts and late finishes, for instance tonight I won't get home till around 9.

So what have I been up to. Well I've posted a column as well as a feature, and a bunch of news. The best piece of news this last week was the RIAA piece, not only did it get dugg (2500 diggs!) but it also got into the blogs of some big tech writers. The RIAA are the most interesting thing going on in the world of tech right now and so to do a write up on them is always going to be popular.

Second week is well underway now and with a couple of very exciting reviews ahead I look forward to posting next week. Until then...

Why Poker-Bots are justifiable

2006-07-30T19:06:00.000+01:00

After getting some feedback on my previous article about poker and online gaming cheats I decided to attempt to clarify my thoughts somewhat. What seems most debatable are my reasons for feeling justified in saying it is okay to cheat in online gambling games such as poker but unfair to do so in an online computer or video game like Counterstrike.

My reasoning for that statement is thus: In my opinion the massive billion dollar industry of online poker is a bloated bubble waiting to burst. As your average consumer becomes more aware that he is potentially facing cheats when sitting down at the virtual card table the industry will struggle to survive. Nobody wants to play poker, risking their hard earned dough, on a game

that can and is being easily rigged. Even if the various governments made a futile attempt to ban the use of bots in online gambling games, something they have shown no inclination towards doing thus far, it would make little difference. Detection of the bots would be difficult if not impossible and even if detecting became easier the underlying fear that every time you lose a hand it was because you were in some way cheated would always remain.

It is on that basis that I condone the use of bots – in all likelihood if you are a regular online gambler then you will have come across somebody using one; somebody who has consequently won and taken your money. As Joe Bloggs becomes more aware of the widescale cheating in online gambling the whole deck of cards will topple to the ground rather suddenly. So why not in that time make a little bit of money? The online gaming companies like Party poker and 888 have made an absolute killing in the few years they have existed. They’ve taken your money so why not get your own back a little by contributing to their downfall and be one of the clever ones and set up your own poker-bot.

So what’s the difference between running a poker-bot to win money and cheating in Counterstrike? Why do I deem cheating in an online FPS (first person shooter) wrong yet cheating to make money right? To explain my reasons I must draw an analogy:

Imagine a group of children playing hide and seek. All of the children play fairly and cover their eyes whilst the others go hide. One child, when playing the role of the seeker chooses not to do this and decides instead that he will watch secretively. He wins the game every time though only through cheating. There is no reward on offer other than the respect he gains from his pier. Respect gained in this manner means nothing, undermined by the fact it was earned through foul play. In this situation the child who cheats gains nothing of any value or worth.

However if such a game involved money and there was not only a prize of respect on offer but also a financial reward then the whole process is turned on his head. His cheating to win in this situation would still gain him no respect but perhaps could allow for a monetary prize. This is thus a worthwhile objective providing he can get away with it and not jeopardize future opportunities to play the game and gain money. In this scenario the cheating has a practical goal and serves a purpose for the cheat. It is therefore justifiable.

So it can be understood why using poker-bots to cheat has a different moral impact than using cheats in games like Counterstrike, one provides worth and value whilst the other provides nothing positive. Hopefully that clears up everything for those who thought the previous article contained a contradiction.

Cheating in Online Games

2006-07-29T18:39:00.000+01:00

Browsing Digg I stumbled upon this Youtube video of what it looks like when running cheats in Counterstrike. Having played Counterstrike for a number of years I've been on the receiving end of these cheats on a number of occassions.

With competition in online games growing bigger with each and every year, in terms of competitors and prizes the bots that enable these cheats pose a serious problem. Fair enough, the use of a cheats at a big LAN tournament is near impossible, however the hierachy and respectability of both clans and their respective gamers is usually gained through their history and performances in online tournaments. If authorities and sponsors of competitive events have suspicions that there is foul play at any stage of the proceedings then harsh measures need to be put in place to prevent them - just look at the response of the Italian FA in their Referee fixing scandal.

In terms of money and gaming however there is a far bigger issue at hand when discussing the use of bots. Texas Holdem has fast become the biggest fix for the gambling man with 3 million pounds being spent on the addiction each and every day in Britain alone. However, with the introduction of bots that play the game as though it were a mathematical conundrum rather than one of chance gambling establishments are beginning to fear for the future of this new market. This article is a particularly interesting insight into the world of poker bots.

The bots are neither illegal nor difficult to get hold of at the moment and there are no signs that this will change in the coming years. As soon as the punters realise that they are potentially being cheated when sitting at the virtual poker table we will see a massive drop in online poker takings - bad news for companies like 888, good news for traditional casinos.

The advice I offer you is simple, say 'No!' to bots when playing Counterstrike and 'Yes!' to bots when playing poker; gaming still has morals but gambling is about making money! Expect more on poker bots and their legitimacy in the coming weeks.

Empty vessels make the most noise

2006-07-28T18:47:00.000+01:00

After just listening to the Bush and Blair conference one fact shone through. The conflict in Lebanon will not be used solely by the Islamic extremists to gain sympathy from the rest of the Islamic world (as the two big B's claim is the terrorists objective in this conflict) but will also be used by the US and UK to stamp their authority on both Iran and Syria.

Blair made it perfectly clear when he stated that Iran had a choice to make, either step into negotiations in a civil manner with the rest of the international community or face severe consequences. Both heads of state underlined that there will be absolutely no toleration of Iran's nuclear program. The problem: Iran's government views the entire situation in an opposite manner with President Mahmud Ahmadinejad, speaking only three days ago, describing Israel as oppressors of Lebanon:

"Those who think that by oppressing a nation they can create a foothold for themselves are making a big mistake. There is an expression in Persian: He who raises the wind will get a hurricane. And this hurricane is just round the corner in the Middle East, and it will be harsh and destructive for the enemies of humanity."

Not that this should come as a surprise to anyone following the whole Middle East 21st Century saga. Only a few months ago the US and UK were begining to sharpen their knives at the prospect of the Iranian President outwardly ignoring their calls for Nuclear Devlopment to cease. A President who has serious intentions of targeting Westernised countries, with the closest one being, as he termed it, the 'tumour on the face of the earth' Israel. War has been in the minds of our leaders for some time now, the question has not been 'if?' but more of 'when' and 'how'.

So the facts are simple, the West, especially the US and UK have been looking for a reason to go to war on Iran pretty much since the war in Iraq was won. And this writer stands in total agreement with the comment that it is our way of life, that of democracy, liberty and freedom that is clashing with the Iranian President's way of life, that of tyranny, extremism and intolerance. If the Iranian government does not cooperate fully over this incident then I will support any action against Iran to remove the government that threatens our way of life and security.

I hope that opinion will be less divided when the time comes in the next few months for a decision to be made on war in Iran. The media driven population made war in Iraq far less popular than the intentions warranted. My fear is that in countries as free as ours, where everyones voice can be heard, those who will be shouting the loudest will also understand the least - empty vessels and all that...

2006-07-28T13:01:00.000+01:00

On the eve of my move to London and subsequent employment for Bit-Tech I have decided the time has come for me to enter the magical world of blogging. And thus, in the words of Austin Powers: "Allow myself to... introduce myself".

All good blogs need good titles and so I have christened mine the 'Rant with Ryan'. For those unfamiliar with my award winning student radio show at LSRfm (shame on you) there is still a chance for you to pop over there and download my podcast. Opinionated and controversial yet always with the licking device planted firmly in our rosey cheek recepitcles I'm sure if you enjoy reading my work you will love listening to that show.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about my move to London next Monday. The city from which I began life hasn't been my home for over 14 years now. Many of the greatest adventures begin in Britains greatest city and it is with that in the forefront of my mind that I make the journey. As I will be working in Ascot I will be one of the few people who will commute to work outside of the capital - I already expect lonely mornings on empty, ghost-like trains but better that than the sardine treatment of those going the other way.

One thing I am not nervous about is my foray into journalism. The opportunity to work with an up and coming respected and established publication like Bit-Tech is one that I hoped for throughout university but didn't expect.

Thankfully the hard work writing news, reviews and features in my spare time whilst studying for my degree has paid off and with my upcoming job as Reviews Editor I'll be exploring a whole new world. With so much to get excited about in computers, games and technology I feel that the end of University life is not a bad time but rather an opening into something bigger and better.

I sign off this entry with the promise that over the coming days, weeks and months that I will write about anything and everything that pops into my mind - keeping true to the Rant with Ryan namesake. Until next time then...